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If someone is tied and gagged and being led around via collar and leash, ask the person holding their collar. For us straight dudes, however, being big and hairy means getting thought of as an ape—a big, dumb, smelly oaf. Pony Jack Caton. DO keep in mind that substances change the safety protocol for certain kinky sex acts. More by Dan Savage. On other nights, go for the slide show of naked men on the TVs, the pool table, and the darts. This is the only gay bar in its vicinity, over near the Montlake cut.

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Other backroom etiquette pointers: I'm a mids, above-average-looking gay dude into spanking guys. Like everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men. Some leather bars go a step further and have a sling room, or have some sex furniture available, and will likely have low light so you can see well enough to use it.

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Most of the hanky code is lost to antiquity.

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