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At this stage, both spouses feel humiliated. Subtly, pornography changed all that. But it seems to be more of a problem in the gay community. Do you still want a relationship with this man and, if so, what sort? My goal is to help straight spouses understand that there was nothing they did or said - or didn't do or say - that made their spouse gay.

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My boyfriend kissed another man: does that mean he's gay?

Sign up for our free bi-monthly newsletter updates:. For reprint permission, contact us. These were gay men who were hairy, who did not shave or trim, and were generally speaking husky or overweight. At this stage, both spouses feel humiliated. They look past your sexual orientation. Essentially everything that was once considered ugly, reprehensible, and not sexy, became attractive to some. The perfect male image was of a buff muscular man who may or may not be taking steroids who was shaved perfectly smooth, which somehow equated with cleanliness and being disease-free.

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The hairy man, the butch man, the moustached and rugged man was celebrated in the late 70s and early 80s, especially in places like New York and San Francisco. You may have been avoiding your suspicions because of insecurity: Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. It was a disease the Christian fundamentalists and right-wing politicians could use as evidence that I was not a human being and thus I was not entitled to equal rights. If only I could have openly said that I was also nervous, but because I was curious to see what other boys look like naked. They judge the gay spouses for why they married in the first place.

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